he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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