D3 body, D1 cock
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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