i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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