I showed him my bush... on skype.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
