She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
