I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
