Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
