why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize