Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
