I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
