I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
