break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
