In America we eat man semen.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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