i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
