Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
