The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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