would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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