community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
