I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I think your dad took our porno
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
