i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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