if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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