btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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