i jhust puked up my retainher.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
