Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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