He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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