I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
