sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
