Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I would fuck him just for his dog
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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