i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
