i just made my gag reflex go away.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
