my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
