i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
