The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I AM VODKA MAN
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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