I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
