i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
