Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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