you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
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