Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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