Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
