he puts the penis in happiness.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
