i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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