i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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