Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You ruined the universe
Randomize
