he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
