Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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