He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
