if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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