I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
