3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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