I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
