Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
