I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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